I can not understand why stores put out Christmas decorations in September, but, they do. It makes me sick. It makes me hate the holidays and I hate hating the holidays!
Last year when the clock struck midnight on Christmas Eve, I began having a heart attack. At the time, I had no clue that was what was happening. I waited until 6pm Christmas Eve to go to the hospital. That's when I realized I was having a heart attack! I spent Christmas Day in ICU doing a LOT of thinking and praying. I laid in the bed watching it snow and thanking God I was still alive to see it snow, to enjoy my family, my life.
I've had to do a lot of changing, but change doesn't happen over night. Some changes take years. Wished I could get my Cardiologist to understand that. :) I've had to make some hard decisions this year and some people aren't too happy about those decisions. I am still being asked to explain my reason's for those decisions. I've stopped doing that.
My favorite time of the year is approaching; October, November and December. These are my most favorite months. The heat of Summer has ended. The air is cooler and there is a feeling of excitement of what lies ahead.
Last night, I turned to my wonderful hubby and said to him, "I think for Christmas this year, I want to do less. I want a simple Christmas. I don't want the big tree, the baking, the stress. I just want to be with the people I love, making memories. And I do not want another heart attack!" Hubby looked at me and said, "Babe, if that is what you want, then that's what we'll do. What did you have in mind?"
Isn't he wonderful?? I so love him.
This is what I told him;
1. Let's do a small table top tree. We have one, so no hunting down one.
2. I still want to bake my cookies, but I think picking 3-4 of our favorites will be enough.
3. Let's just do a couple of turkey breast, with green beans, mashed potatoes, gravy and some rolls.
4. As for gifts, let's just buy for the little ones and for the grown ups, I have a few ideas, but haven't decided yet.
5. As for the outside decorations, I'm not going to stress over it. If we put up the inflatables and nothing else, that is fine with me.
6. Frozen pies work for me...how about you?
7. Most importantly, I want to spend it with the ones I love, you, Jacob, Jess, Lyla, dad, brother's and sister's and that's it. I don't want to be with people that causes me to have any stress. I want to sit and watch Christmas movies, listen to Christmas music, laugh, be happy.
Hubby asked me why the change. So, I told him, "Christmas has just become a hassle. It's too stressful. Having to pick the perfect gift, putting up the perfect decorations, finding the perfect tree, and the perfect place to put it, people have forgotten what Christmas is about. There is no fun in it anymore. Christmas should be fun, it should be a happy time, and it's not. I want happy. If I do decorate, I want to put on some Christmas music, play it loud, laugh, giggle, make memories. When I get old and look back on my life, I want to remember the times we loved, laughed, and lived!" He smiled, teared up and said, "Well, I can't argue with that."
Take a moment and think about what is important to you as we get into the holiday season. Is it the presents? The food? Understand why you have the traditions you have. Is it because it's what you have always done? Is it fun? Do you enjoy it? Or...do you dread it? Do you have to go to every party you're invited to? Attend every Christmas play or concert that is in town? Are there ways you can find more joy, happiness and less stress this holiday season? It's okay to do less to get more.
I'm realizing what is important to me, what I enjoy doing, and who I enjoy being around. It's not easy to realize these things. But sometimes in order to live, we must give up some of the things we hold on too. I am hoping this holiday season is a LOT better than last years, and I plan on doing whatever I can to see that is it the best holiday season we have ever had.
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