Good Morning, Crafters!
It’s a beautiful Monday morning.
We had a great weekend. Got the
Halloween display all set up now.
Nothing more to do to it. And it
looks amazing! Our 5 year old niece came
over yesterday and refused to even look at it saying, “It’s too scary!!!” We have done our jobs!
I have been thinking about what to write for October’s
health part of the blog. And, I am posting this a day early because I have a super busy month ahead of me. James and I will celebrate our wedding anniversary and our son will celebrate his 18th birthday. So, lots of celebrating for October. I have decided
to share a little more info about myself with you all. And maybe it will help you in your struggles
for a healthy life.
Please keep in mind, this is not something I talk about daily. So in sharing this, I'm putting myself out on the 'chopping block' so to speak. :)
Five years ago, I decided to go back to college and obtain a
degree in Elementary Education. I was
focused, determined and….obsessed. I
took online classes, and basically, what you would learn in a semester at a ‘regular’
college, I was learning in 7-8 weeks.
There was a huge amount of pressure to learn it all. I was a student, a wife, a mom, a daughter,
and a sister. My life, my thoughts all
revolved around school. My wedding was
scheduled around my classes. Everything
was determined around my classes. I tried
hard to not obsess about school and assignments, but it was hard when you had
assignments to do and only a certain amount of time in which to do
them. We didn’t get normal breaks like
in ‘regular’ colleges…we went straight through summer, holidays, and
weekends.
Eventually, the pressure to excel got to me and I
snapped! I literally had a mental and
emotional break down; during my internship, no less! With less than five weeks left until I completed
my education, I lost it! Not only was
the college putting pressure on me, but the school where I was doing my
internship was, how do I say it without getting sued…I didn’t meet their view
of what a teacher should look or act like.
My clothes were ‘not appropriate’, even though I had spent over 300.00
at JCPenny’s on new clothes. My hair was
not ‘styled right’. I didn’t have the ‘look’
they wanted. My ‘teaching style’ was
wrong. Nothing I did was right. I wasn’t allowed to do the things the college
required of me. I was not ‘invited’ to
attend the weekly meetings the teachers had, therefore, I had no clue what was
happening. And, to the college, that was
my fault.
On top of the internship, I also had assignments to turn in to my
teacher supervisor, and I had to attend class every day. The pressure was just too much. I was
tired. I was angry. I was ready to be done.
When I received my first evaluation and things I had shared in
private to my teacher supervisor and mentor teacher were in it, I snapped. I lost it.
I have little memory of most of the last month of my college career. After all was said and done, I spent a few
weeks examining my emotional and mental state of mind. I honestly was happy to not have the pressure
on me. I was relieved to not have to ‘attend’
class. I was thankful I didn’t have to
show up every day at a school that really did everything to bring me down. I laughed for the first time in years. Granted, it was an insane, crazy kind of
laughter, but, I laughed. And, I cried a lot.
Three months later, I had a heart attack. And, I survived! Since then, I have had to learn to live
again. My family reminds me of a time
when I wasn’t so ‘wound up’ and when I enjoyed life. I’m not knocking online colleges. They are a great way to work, be a mom, wife,
and employee and still get the education you desire. The pressure, however, is huge! I realized I forgot how to enjoy life. So I had to rethink, relearn how to see the
world again. I have tried, but the
experience of college has changed me.
I found myself laughing this weekend. I mean, really laughing. A true, hearty, joyful laughter. I haven’t done that in a very long time. Oh yes, there were a few stressful moments,
but I-laughed! And, it felt great!
And that is when it hit me on what this month’s topic should
be. Laughing has so many health
benefits. Laughter relaxes your entire
body! It boosts and improves your immune
system. It releases endorphins, which provide an overall sense of
well-being. It can temporarily relieve
pain (which is why hubby laughs when he is in pain). Laughing protects your heart by improving
the function of blood vessels, increases blood flow, which could prevent heart
disease.
Laughter also lessens stressful situations. It helps you relax so you are able to see the
situation more clearly. It helps you to
not become overwhelmed by stressful situations.
Laughter allows you to be spontaneous. Laughter takes you away from your
troubles; forget judgments, criticisms and doubt. Laughter releases you from fear and allows
you to express your true feelings.
So, how do you start to laugh again? Smile, count your blessings, move toward
those who laugh, spend time with people who laugh, bring humor and laughter
into the conversation. Laugh at
yourself, try to laugh at situations, don’t bemoan them. Surround yourself with items that make you
laugh; a toy, a picture, a quote. Deal
with your stress. Play with children and
do what they do; play hop-scotch, red rover, tag, color.
The four years I spent so wound up has taken its toll on me
and my family. Things I use to just ‘let
go’ I now worry over. I’ve had to make
myself do things I once enjoyed. I’m
still learning how to be fun and spontaneous. But, I have changed. And I find myself trying new things. This is not a bad thing. I guess you could say I’m finding myself
again.
Do I regret my four years of
college? No, not in any way, shape, form
or fashion. In fact, I push my son to
further his own education. I encourage
others thinking about going back to college.
But, I also tell them to not forget to live. Don’t forget to laugh, have fun and if you
find yourself under pressure, take a break.
Looking back, yes, I would do things a lot differently. But I do not nor will I ever regret the
education I received. Not just in my chosen
field, but what I learned in life and about myself. I know what I can and cannot handle now. I know how far I can go before breaking. No, I am not a teacher. No, I do not have my own classroom. Having spent over 365 days searching and
exploring the four years I spent obtaining an education, the only thing I regret
is I forgot how to live, how to enjoy life, how to laugh.
So find something to laugh about this month. It may take some effort on your part, but
find it. Embrace it, and never let it
go. Life should be fun, enjoyed, and
lived. Live it, love it, and laugh it
up. You might find yourself actually having fun, enjoying the moment, feeling relaxed. You might just see the world in a different light. Your emotional, mental and physical state will thank you...and so will your family.
