Last Post: A Sad Good-bye!

Hey everyone!

At the beginning of the year, I posted on how hubby and I were drifting apart emotionally and how we had to do something.  A series of unfortunate events have happened that has brought me to a very hard decision.  This is not an easy thing for me to do.  But, I realize in order to save my marriage, it is something that must be done.

About three weeks ago, my laptop crashed.  Less than a year old and the darn thing just quit!  (why no posts).  During those three weeks, hubby and I spent more time together and we both loved it.  We had time to do things, go places, talk, and just reconnect.  It was wonderful.  That 'old' feeling came back and life was great.  The laptop got fixed and came home and life went back to 'normal'.  Me in the computer, he in the TV. 

A few days later, we were just sitting around the house, and I said, "Sure do miss you."  He says, "I'm right here. Haven't went anywhere."  I said, "Ha ha, you know what I mean."  We spent the next two hours talking about the 'problem' and we both realized that blogging, and keeping up with the Facebook page was taking up so much of my time, I didn't leave any room for anything or anyone else.

The next few months are busy months for us.  Our youngest will graduate high school, start a new job, and college.  We have gardens to tend to, and a few remodeling projects that has to be done.  And, we have plans to go on a couple of trips together.  And, we just love being able to be free to do what we want to do.  To wake up in the morning and decide to take a day-trip, go junking, go to yard sales, flea markets, etc. It's almost like the blog and Facebook page has taken the place of our youngest leaving the nest.  A replacement so to say.

So, with all that said, it is with a sad heart that this will be my last post on the blog and Facebook.  It was not an easy decision.  And I have enjoyed the time I have spent doing this.  I've made wonderful friends that are like family to me.  James and I have so much we want to do now that our youngest is off on his own (or soon will be).  And reconnecting is just one of them.

Sometimes, we get so busy in our lives, so many other responsibilities take up our time, we forget about the ones we live with.  The ones that are always there for us.  We take for granted they will always be there, will always come home.  What we don't realize is one day, we wake up and realize that those people are gone and you sit and wonder what the hell happened.  It's an easy trap to fall into to.  It may be the Internet, close friends, family, jobs, or some other reason.  But we fall into it either way. 

Part of what makes a marriage great is taking time for each other.  Spending time together as a couple. Getting rid of the kids for a few hours, or a few days and just enjoying each others company.  Forget the house work, yard work and all the other stuff that keeps us busy and take time to spend with each other.  Marriage is a job.  It takes 2 people working together to make it work. 

I leave you with this: Ever so often take an inventory of your life, your marriage, the things that keep you 'busy', the things that keep you from connecting with the ones you love the most (family, friends, children, husband/wife) and get rid of those things.  If it's the Internet, spend less time on it, if it is crafting, spend less time on it.  If it is friends/family, explain that your marriage MUST come first.  Then grab your spouse and take a walk, take a road trip, go have pie and coffee, see a movie ALONE!  Just the 2 of you.  Talk, hug, kiss, say "I love you" and make it happen! 

It's been a pleasure doing this all these years and maybe one day, I'll come back to it.   IF I'm not out enjoying life. :)

P.S.  As for the Facebook page, I will leave it active until the end of next week...then I will deactivate the account.  Thank you all for your love and support.

New Passions

Hey everyone!  As a person who just dabbles in a lot of things, but nothing inclusive (quilting, painting, etc.), I have a lot of projects going on at all times.  Matter of fact, I have about 20 projects right now that need attention.  I am hoping to get all those finished up and put away for a rainy day to brighten someones life.

I have found a new passion.  I learned to crochet when I was a teenager, but never got beyond the basic stitches.  The last few months I have been relearning how to do the basic stitches and learning a few new ones.  I did a set of baby items for my daughter (who is expecting again), and a few hats for those cold Winter days.

I have always loved those lacy looking doilies my Mother and Granny made.  I have a few of them they made and cherish them dearly.  So, I set out to learn how to do them.  Not quiet as easy as crocheting a baby blanket, but they are small enough to do in a few hours. 

This last week I attempted a few; some I made up, some I followed a pattern.  None are blocked yet, but hoping to get that done this weekend. 

What have you learned to do lately?

Relationships: Part 2

So this year I will be focusing on relationships.  I had thought about doing a year long (much like the heart health from last year) on diabetes.  I think though, this is a much more interesting topic.  We started our adventure last weekend, and you can come along for the ride.

In my last post, I talked about how hubby and I have got into this rut within our relationship.  After a LOT of discussion, a few heated arguments, and tears, we finally decided we had to do something.  So we have started 'date night'.  This began last weekend.  We decided to take off for the weekend to kick start our new adventure. 

After doing some research, we decided to tour our local wineries.  We live close to the Ozarks of Arkansas, so it wasn't too far from home.  Baby steps, people, baby steps.

We hit about 6 wineries before noon.  :)  Then we headed to Mt. Magazine. It was so nice and peaceful there and we even saw a little armadillo having some lunch.  We spent about an hour or so there before heading back to Fort Smith, Ark for the night.

Once at the hotel, we had a battle of sinking ships!!  Battleship, y'all!!  Minds out of the gutters. This was a very close game and hubby kicked my ships right into the ocean!  Then, we decided to get some dinner, but being a Saturday night, every place had a line a mile long and a wait of at least 45 minutes.  So we drove around and found a Village Inn...great food and the service was equally great!  They have a peanut butter chocolate pie that is to DIE FOR!  We split it and we both left with a smile on our faces. 

The evening was still early so we decided to see a move, but by the time we got to the theater, everything had already started and I didn't want to wait until 11pm to see a movie.  So, we went back to the hotel.  We watched a little TV, and did a LOT of talking.  We played Rummy and again, hubby stunk me out!  Only won one hand.  But it was fun.

The next morning, we head North to Springdale, Ark.  We went to the Botanical Garden of the Ozarks which was pretty amazing considering it's Winter.  It will be worth the drive back this Spring when everything is bloomed out and green.  From there, we went to Bentonville, Ark. to see Crystal Bridges.  It is massive!!  We didn't get to see it all.  Ran out of time, but we're planing to go back when we have all day to just explore.

Overall, we connected in ways I didn't think we could.  The trip was much needed, not only for us as individuals, but as a couple.  We are both a lot more attuned to each other.  We're both a little more considerate towards each other.  The tension in the air has thinned; it's still there, but it's not as thick.

One thing we did talk about is this "date night" thing.  We both agree it's a great idea, but, not every week.  We both agree it would get a little old after a while, and considering we live in a rather small town, we'd run out of places to go and things to do if we did this every week.  So, we're going to do it about twice a month and see how that goes.  These are actual planned dates.  We are also gonna do a little spur of the moments "lets get some coffee or pie" dates, as well.

I think every couple should have at least one date night a month, without kids.  Just the two of you.  After all, you dated before you were married, it should keep happening.  That's what happened to us.  We dated, we got married and the dating stopped.  Couples need that time to be together with no conversations about home, work or the kids.  I learned things about hubby this last weekend that I never knew! 

Some family members have said that we're 'selfish' for doing this.  Our son is 18 and he is okay with it and he understands.  It's not like we're going on a trip every weekend without him.  Matter of fact, we're planning a big trip at the end of May, beginning of  June to go see the Civil War Battlefields in Prairie Grove, Ark.  DS is looking forward to that, as are we.  What they don't know is we talked to our son about all this before we decided to do it.  He says, "Hey, I get it, mom...privacy, alone time, it's all good.  Go, have fun."  He stayed home, and played his battle games with his friends...and they had fun, too. It was a win-win for all.

Saving a Relationship: Date Night: Does It Really Work?

If you do a search for "How to Find Time for Your Mate" you will get over a million hits.  Everyone has their own thoughts and opinions of how to do this, how to turn the spark into a blazing fire.  Does it really work?

PLEASE NOTE: I AM NOT AN EXPERT ON RELATIONSHIPS. 

Hubby and I have been married for a little over four years.  In that sense, we're still classified as 'newlyweds'.  But, here lately, it feels like we've been together forever!  With all the stresses of our life that has happened over the last year or so, we've fallen into a rut of sorts.  We get up in the morning, make coffee, he turns on the TV, I get on the computer.  At noon, we watch the Noon News, he gets ready for work, I get dressed, he leaves for work, I get busy cleaning the house, cooking dinner, doing the laundry.  At 10:30, he comes home, eats dinner, watches TV and falls asleep on  the sofa, I surf the Internet until I go to bed.  A rut?  I'd say we were in serious trouble.

The experts say this sometimes happens.  My question is 'Why?'   Why do married couples allow ourselves to get into this way of life? This last weekend was an 'eye opener' of sorts for us.  We realized we were just not happy.  We asked each other, "What happened?"  We spent 3-4 hours talking about when it began, why it began and what we can do to get out of this rut.  We had to do some serious thinking back into the past.  Neither of us have been unfaithful.  So that is not an issue. We also turned to the Internet to see what the 'experts' had to say. The first thing they mentioned is to have a date night.  Who can really afford to go out to dinner and a movie every week?  And, wouldn't that get boring after a while?  I'm not down playing the date night.  I actually think it is a great idea.  We dated before we got married, got dressed up, put on our best...everything and had a great time.  So, date night could work.

The other thing the 'experts' mentioned is having breakfast, or lunch a few times a week away from the house.   I might agree with this, too.  I have a wonderful friend who says, "You can not connect with your spouse at home.  There are too many distractions."  I totally agree with this.  But again, who can afford it?  What is the price of saving a marriage these days? 

One thing we discovered is we have this fear.  Fear?  Yes, fear.  See, we live next door to my sister who is a diabetic and has low blood sugars during the early morning hours.  There have been a few times we've went out only to come home to ambulance and family members at her house because she had a low blood sugar.  We've been asked, "Where were you? Why were you not here?"   We know we're not responsible for her or her health.  She is older than I am, and she knows what she should do, but refuses to do it.  Hubby says, "We have to just say _________ this and do it! We just have to decide to do what we're doing and not worry about the 'what-ifs'"  I'm not sure I can do that.  After all, she IS my sister.  But the question is: Am I responsible for her?  The answer: No.  The next question is: Is being here all the time, stopping our life, more important that my marriage?  The answer is : HELL NO!  So, I have a huge obstacle to climb when it comes to the 'fear'. 

We made a few plans, gathered a few ideas and as long as nothing big happens, these thing WILL happen.  Sometimes, I think, we just have to say, "NO" and move on.  Will 'date night' work?  I sure hope so.  There comes a time in any marriage that we just have to stop what we're doing and put everything else to the side and focus on our relationships.  We did this when we were dating.  Nothing else mattered.  It was just you and him, him and you.  The world stopped moving when you two were together.  Why should it spin faster after a few years or a lot of years being married?  I will post after a few times of doing this and let you all know how it has worked out.

What do you do to keep the spark alive in your marriage? 

Stupid Bowl Dip

Hey folks!  This month has flown by in a rush of blurred memories!

It's just been a little over a month since my daddy passed on and things have just been crazy.  We have had the crud for the last 2-3 weeks and are finally getting over it (thanks to some high powered antibiotics).  I still lack the energy I had before this mess hit us, but everyday is better than the last.

The weather in Oklahoma has been insanely unpredictable.  One day, it's 60, the next day, 20.  No wonder we're all sick!

I had to put off the organization on the house for a bit.  My side of the closet is still a mess and I am hoping to get it done in the next few weeks.  And the office just keeps getting worse!  This has to be done by March, so I really need to get things moving.  My motivation has went on vacation...too bad it didn't take me with it.

On a positive note, though, I am going to be a grandmother again!!!  My wonderful daughter and her husband announced Christmas they are expecting another bundle of joy!  She is due sometime in July/August.  We are super excited about this new addition to our family.

This weekend should be a great one.  Yes, it is gonna be nasty, wet, and cold, but the Super Bowl is on Sunday.  We don't actually watch the game.  We watch the commercials.   I usually prepare our "Stupid Bowl Dip", which is a meal in itself.  Sometimes I will make pizza rolls. 

For today's blog post, I will share my "Stupid Bowl Dip" with everyone and hope you enjoy it as much as we do.

"Stupid Bowl Dip"

2 cans refried beans
1 lb. ground beef (or turkey)
1 packet taco seasoning
1 container sour cream
1 head of lettuce
1-2 tomatoes
1 small white or yellow onion
1 can black olives
1 jar salsa
1 large package of Mexican cheese

In a 9x13 baking dish, spread the beans.  In a skillet, brown the ground beef (or turkey) until no longer pink, drain.  Add the taco seasoning to the meat and simmer for about 10 minutes on low.  Layer the meat on top of beans.  Add 1 cup of cheese on top of meat.  Place in a 350 degree oven and bake for 5-10 minutes or until cheese is melted.  While this is baking, chop lettuce, tomatoes, onions and olives.  Take bean/meat mixture out of oven and let cool for about 10 minutes.  Top with sour cream, salsa and cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, onions and black olives.  Serve with tortilla chips.

Enjoy!

Cleaning Out the House

Have you ever felt like this???

OR this when cleaning the house?????

That's the look I've had for a week and a half.  I'm not just cleaning the house, I am cleaning OUT the house!  I've got years of...junk that needs to GO!  and now!  So far, I have cleaned out the living room, the kitchen and I started today on the master bedroom.  That one may take a day or two to get done.  In my house, my bedroom is the over flow room for the office...meaning, once the office is full, it goes into my bedroom.  Well, that ends...today.

I began in the living room, which wasn't too bad.  Just mostly trash.  One day, tops to do that room.  Then, I moved into the kitchen.  That took a few days.  Thank God we had a 'snow day'. DS and DH was trapped at home, so I put them to work helping me clean out the kitchen cabinets and going through all our junk.  I ended up with 8 boxes of...JUNK..or treasure, however you see it. :)

Since our bedroom is the over flow area, and my office is now a storage room, it was beginning to wear on my nerves.  I don't know about you, but I can't sleep in a cluttered room.  So, today, I began the process of cleaning it out.  I got a lot done, but no where near done.  I have an entire side of the closet to go and I am not looking forward to dragging everything out.  But, I know it has to be done.  And, I know I will love it because I will sleep better.

The last room I will go through is my office/storage room.  That one is gonna take all of us, working together, for at least a week to get it all cleaned out.  Then I can proudly say I have a really clean house.

Sometimes I think it would be easier and faster to bull doze it down and start over.  But  I love my home.  It was my grandparents home and where I spent most of my childhood.  When I am done with everything I want to do, it won't look the same, but the feeling will be the same; full of family, full of love, full of life.

Do you ever just go through each room and clean out all the hidden treasures?  Share with us your experience in cleaning out your house. 

White Kitchen Cabinets

A few minutes ago I would have swore I did a blog post on our kitchen remodel a few years ago.  I was apparently wrong, because I can't find it if I did. :(

Anyway, a few years ago we did a kitchen remodel of sorts.  We took the doors off the upper cabinets and painted them and the lower cabinets white. We sanded down the hardware and sprayed painted them a cracked bronze.  I am not exactly sure what I was thinking when I told DH to do this but I do remember the look I got.  It was not pretty.  But, he did what I asked anyway.  Do I regret the white painted cabinets?  OH MY GOD! YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!

White painted kitchen cabinets are great if you never use your kitchen.  Seriously.  You can not keep them clean and everything shows!  Even with my poor eye sight, I can see the crap on them.  And it is not for a lack of cleaning them.  I scrub them weekly, but once they are stained, forget it.  It stays. I have spots on my cabinets where I have actually scrubbed the paint off trying to get them clean!  And the kitchen, to me, always looks dirty.

So, I was expressing my unhappiness with my cabinets to my DH the other night.  We discussed ripping out the cabinets, and getting new ones.  We discussed just painting the ones we have a different color.  The cost of each and how we would go about doing this.  The floor needs to be taken up joist reinforced, and new flooring laid down. We discussed our options.  We have not decided on anything yet. but either this year or next year, the kitchen will have something done to it.

My advice: NEVER, EVER paint your kitchen cabinets white...unless you NEVER use it...then go ahead.

Since my dad passed away Christmas Eve, a LOT has been going on and more is yet to come.  However, I have decided to declutter the house.  I started today on the living room.  I can not believe how much trash three people produce!  I got most of it done, except for washing the curtains.  It's super cold here right now, so that will just have to wait until it warms a bit.   I finally got all the inside Christmas decorations put up.  DS and I went through all of the decorations and got rid of a lot of it.  Tomorrow, I will start on my kitchen.  Sometimes it's just a good idea to reassess what you have, what you love, what you can part with and scale down.

I will try to keep up with the blog posts, but if you have Facebook, go check out my page!

https://www.facebook.com/crafterscountry

My Dad

Hey Friends!

Since last Christmas I had to go off and have a heart attack and missed Christmas with my family, this year I decided to have a 'make up' Christmas.  I went to bed the night before Christmas Eve and tossed and turned most of the night.  I finally gave up and made my way to the kitchen for coffee.  I sat in the living room reading all the Christmas greetings on Facebook.  I woke James up at 8 am so we could get ready to head up to my dad's for Christmas. 

About 8:05 am, my phone rang.  In our family we have a game of sorts we do on Christmas Eve.  We try to see who can say "Christmas Eve Gift" first and to the most.  If you beat the other person, you get a gift, although, we do not do that part.  The fun is trying to beat all the other family members to the punch.  I answered the phone, and said, "Christmas Eve Gift!!"  My sister said to me, "Get up to dad's now...it's bad."  I got my son up and told him to get my other sister and to get her up to dad's.

James and I got in the car and raced to dad's...only 2 blocks up the road.  As we came over the hill, we saw EMT's, fire trucks, First responders and a lot of trucks and cars.  We pulled into the drive way and I ran inside.  The EMT's were doing CPR on dad...finally my sister 'called it'.  Our dad had went home to heaven. 

It was devastating to all of us.  Not exactly what we expected on Christmas Eve.  After all was said and done, we all decided to go ahead and have Christmas...'for the little ones'.  We all tried to be happy and joyful, but it just didn't happen.  It's hard to be happy or to even act happy when someone you love is gone forever.

My dad was a hard working man.  He was a cowboy, served his country in the U.S. Army for 20 plus years, and was an R.N. for over 30 years.  He was a husband, a father, a son, a brother, a uncle, a grandfather, great grandfather and a great-great grandfather.  He loved to travel, and go to auctions.  But most importantly, He Served.  He served his family, his country, and others...and he served proudly.  He was happiest at the hospital taking care of the patients. 

My dad suffered from dementia.  It was hard to watch him deteriorate from a healthy, hard working man, to someone who couldn't do for himself.  I've spent my life taking care of dementia patients, but it's different when it's your own family.  Tomorrow, 12/30/13 we will lay our Father to rest, with full military honors. 

It's been a horrible, and hard week.  My brother and sister's and I have yelled, screamed, and said things to each other out of anger and grief this week, but we have managed to stop, apologize, hug, kiss, and love each other through it all.  I think Dad would be happy with how we are handling this. 

I miss my dad.  My heart aches for him, for his smile, and his love.  As long as I remember dad, he is never gone...he's just home.

A Christmas Message

One year ago, on Christmas Eve, I had a heart attack. If you follow my posts, you know this.  I wished I could report that my life has taken a turn for the best...however, I am still struggle with my weight, and I still smoke.  Change isn't easy.  Sometimes we have set backs that prevent us from achieving our goals.   The main thing is we keep trying. 

Looking back on the past year, a lot has changed. I know who is important in my life and who I ain't wasting my time on.  I know who I can and can not count on.  I know that some things I can not change.  I must accept how things are, pray God will change it and if not, accept that.  I have learned to love harder and make a LOT of memories, even if other people think I'm nuts. I have learned to pick my battles.  I have learned to let go of the past and focus on the future.  I have learned that no one will run my life except God and me.  I have learned that I do not have to answer to anyone or explain myself or what I do to anyone but God.  My faith has grown stronger and I appreciate what I have. 

I don't live in a huge house.  I don't drive new cars.  But I have a home, and I have 2 cars. I have a husband that has stood by my side through all the good and all the bad.  I have a son that aggravates the hell out of me, but I couldn't love him more.  I have a daughter that grows more beautiful everyday and has blessed me with a equally beautiful grand daughter and a future grand son or daughter sometime in July or August.  I have a LOT of wonderful nieces and nephews that I just adore and feel blessed to spend time with. I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers that no words can describe how deep my love goes for them.  I have 3 dogs and 3 cats that think I am the bees-knees.  I have a lot of friends that I am honored to know.  I am blessed beyond measure.

The coming year has a lot of mystery in it as the future does.  I have no clue what will happen in 2014, but I am looking forward to it and whatever it brings I am ready! 

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!  Here's to a great 2014!!!!!

Traditions

I've fallen behind on my blogging.  And, with the holidays dang near here, I ain't gonna catch it up! 

This last weekend was a super busy, super fun weekend.  Friday I had 5 of my nieces here for a Princess Christmas Party and Sunday, my family gathered at our dad's home to trim his Christmas tree, eat some really great food and have fun and games!

From Left to Right: Chloe, my niece, my sister, me my oldest sister, my sister in law, and my next to the oldest sister, my son, and in the blue chair, my dad.

My oldest sisters and I were talking about how Christmas just isn't the same as it used to be.  My oldest sister's husband passed away a few years ago and our Mother passed shortly after that.  She stated that she just 'hated Christmas' and that 'it just wasn't worth celebrating'.  James' dad passed away when he was 9 years old, and for him, Christmas has never been the same.  My oldest sister and I somewhat agreed on how sometimes, we just wished the holidays would just go away.

My second to the oldest sister was standing behind us listening(we didn't know this).  She said something super profound, and surprised me.  Not that she doesn't say things that don't surprise me, this was just..well, it made sense.  She said (paraphrased) 'I know we have lost a lot of our loved ones over the years, and nothing is the same.  Things change.  But our grandparents lost people they loved dearly and they still celebrated the holidays.  Christmas must be celebrated and kept alive, not for US, but for our children and our grandchildren and for the future of our grand children's children.  Life changes for us, through the loss of loved ones, and it will for them as well.  But we must carry the traditions of Christmas and share them with our children and their children so our traditions won't be lost.'

At first I didn't think anything of this, but as the day went on, and we laughed until we cried and had a great family fun day, I began to think about what she said.  I must agree with her.  It is so important, in today's world, to keep those old family traditions going and to create new one's, as well.  I think in today's world, it is even MORE important to keep holiday traditions alive.  As my own family grows bigger and we have more little one's running around, I find myself clinging to those old family traditions and trying to make new traditions. 

Last year, I had planned a big Christmas morning breakfast.  But I found myself in ICU on Christmas morning.  My kids have asked if we are going to do that this year and James and I have kicked it around some.  Honestly, I'm not sure he is up to it....and not sure I am, either.  We wanted a simple, family Christmas and I think we will have it on Christmas Eve at my dad's with all of the family gathered together.  Christmas Day will be spent relaxing, watching old black and white Christmas movies and just enjoying the day. 

Old traditions much be kept alive.  But sometimes new traditions are just too much.  Our society is a busy, on the move, world.  Sometimes it is nice to just spend the day doing nothing.  Just spending it reflecting on the past year, the new year ahead of us, and the birth of Jesus is enough.

What are some holiday traditions you cling too? 

Making Memories

Tonight, I made a huge pot of chili.  I love chili...with Frito's, cheese, onions and sour cream.  My sister asked me last night what I was planning on making for dinner tonight.  I told her "chili" and she more or less invited herself over.  Then, tonight, just as I was setting the table, my phone rang and my brother, who happens to be a truck driver, called.  He was home and "starving", so I told him I had made a huge pot of chili and to 'come on over'.  I added a couple more bowls to the table and we all gathered around and had a great meal.

We got into a discussion about the end times.  We got a Bible and began reading and discussing our thoughts and opinions on the subject.  There was a slow spot in the conversation and my brother asked my sister what she would like for Christmas.  I didn't hear her answer.  Then he asked me what I would like for Christmas.  I said, "I know what I don't want."  He looked at me, with a puzzled look and asked, "What?"  I said, "I don't want another heart attack!"  We all nodded our heads in agreement and my brother said, "No, we don't want that." 

So, my sister and I asked our brother, "What do you want for Christmas?"  He sat for a moment and thought.  He leaned back and said, "All I want is for everyone to get together and not fight.  To not be mad or angry at each other.  I want all of us to just get together, celebrate the real reason for Christmas; the Birth of Jesus and just have a great day." 

My sister and I sat in shock, starring at our brother.  Let's just say, he isn't the most 'religous' person on Earth.  So to hear him say this was, in a word; shocking.  My sister finally said, "We can do that, I think."  I nodded in agreement.  But I thought about it for a minute and then said, "But it wouldn't be the holidays if someone didn't get upset with someone."  We all started laughing.

After they went home, I sat and thought about this for a while.  I thought about all the Christmas' we've had, 46 for me.  I don't remember a time any of us got together and somewhere, someone didn't say or do something that didn't upset someone else.  It's the way our family rolls.

One thing I have learned since having my heart attack is make as many memories as you can.  This Friday I am 'hosting' a Princess party for my nieces.  We have crowns, Princess movies, pizza, ice cream, coloring, painting, crafting, and of course, tea.  I had a family member ask if I had lost my mind and if I knew what I was 'getting myself in to'.  Yeah, I know what I am doing and no, I have not lost my mind.  I am making memories. 

Sometimes events in our lives changes us.  The event, no matter how big or small, makes us a better  person, a kinder person, a more loving person, a more understanding, empathic person.  Sometimes a serious event makes a person appreciate life a little more, makes them want to make people happy. 

When we die, we sure can't take all the stuff we have with us.  It stays here, with our loved ones.  For them to remember.  My brother asked me one day, when you die, what do you want people to remember?  That is a loaded question and I had to think long and hard about it.  After a very, very long time, months even, I told him.  I looked at my brother and I said, "When I die, I want to leave behind a legacy of...Love. I want people to remember all the happy things I did for them.  But, before that happens, before I die, I want to make a LOT of memories, not for me, for everyone else."

I made a memory tonight.

And, I will make memories this Christmas.

What is you plan for Christmas to make it memorable?

Heart Health: One Year Ago...

I've been doing a lot of silent remembering the last few weeks.  Oh, silent remembering is when you remember a past event silently.  You don't say to a person, "Hey, remember when....."  You just sorta remember the event in your head and think.

Last year, I had a heart attack...on Christmas Eve.  The months prior to that were, at the very least, stressful, and that was on a good day!  I remember I was tired...more so than normal.  Small things exhausted me.  Moving wore me out.  Thinking seemed impossible.  I couldn't stay awake.  I remember more than once during my teaching internship, I would fall asleep in the middle of the day.  I had to move to stay awake.  I would come home to do homework, and before I knew it, I was asleep. 

Something inside of me told me something just was not 'right'.  I went to my doctor and explained everything to her and she offered me antidepressants.  I told her, "Thanks, but no...there is something other than depression going on here." and it was left at that.

And it got worse.  I was exhausted!  I wasn't sleeping...you know that restful sleep we all need and when we don't get it, we feel like crap!  I couldn't breath.  It was an effort to take a breath.  Eventually, I snapped..mentally and blew a gasket and got myself in trouble at my school.  Wasn't a good move on my part, granted, but looking back, I now understand why it happened.  For a while, I was relieved...I was happy...giddy, almost.  Mentally I was all wrong.  Physically, I was about to find out more than I wanted.

The holidays were coming up pretty fast.  I was excited about being a grandmother for the first time.  I was able to spend time with my family and not be in a book, or doing homework.  We made Christmas cookies.  We looked at all the lights.  In private, I was dying inside.  I was a miserable mess.  Something still wasn't right inside and I had no idea. The doctor just wanted me on more pills, which I refused.  I was still tired.  Still exhausted.  Still wore out.  But, I pushed through.  I told myself and almost convinced myself the doctor was right, I was depressed.  I was stressed out.  I just needed rest.

I remember the night my grand daughter was born.  We were all excited, waiting for that first look.  I had been to the doctor once again, this time, for a sinus' infection.  I remember going outside after Lyla was born, and looking up at the sky and saying to God, "Thanks for all Your blessing."  I was so happy that my daughter and grand daughter were okay.  I remember thinking my grand daughter is the second most beautiful baby ever born, my daughter being the first!  I remember tears of relief that they were safe and breathing, and praying this sinus infection would go away so I could breathe.

Once home, I looked around and realized Christmas was 3 days away and I'd not really done anything.  So, my son and I got busy wrapping gifts, cooking, and cleaning.  I hadn't done any shopping, so hubby and I went shopping after he got off work.  It was another stressful time for me.

The night before Christmas Eve, I remember I was just plain ole wore out!  I took a hot shower, and got into the Jammie's.  Hubby and I were in the living room, watching TV, and I coughed...hard.  Then, my chest began to ache.  My first thought was, "Damn, sinus infection has went into the chest and this can't be good."  So, I told hubby I was tired and was going to bed.  I laid down and the pain hit me hard.  I just didn't understand what was happening.  I felt confused, foggy, exhausted.  I just wanted to go to sleep...but couldn't lie down without horrible pain.  That night was a 'no sleep' night.

The next day, we went to my dad's house for Christmas.  It is pretty much a fog, but I remember a few snide remarks that were made by family members.  I remember the attitudes a few family members had when gifts were opened.  I remember hubby telling me to let him take me to the hospital and me refusing...because I didn't want to ruin the holiday for everyone.  I remember thinking, "I just want to breath and this pain to stop."  Looking back, it seems the day was ruined because of my just being there.  Looking back I remember the looks I received by family members.  Needless to say, Christmas Eve sucked...even before I knew what was going on.

I decided to leave shortly after hubby went to work.  My son and I came home, and it is just gone...that afternoon/evening, is gone.  I remember talking to my oldest sister on the phone.  And, I remember telling my son I was going to try to take a nap.  I remember calling hubby at work and telling him to come home.  I remember the Cardiologist telling me I was having a heart attack.  I remember the cath lab and seeing my heart beating like some crazy drug had hit it.  I remember the stint being placed and my heart start beating normally again.

The next few days are a blur.  I remember Pastor Don calling my name out in ICU while I slept and thinking "God is here" (Pastor Don has a deep voice when you are half asleep and doped up).  I remember my hubby telling me everything that happened, from trying to get family to come to the hospital (they apparently didn't want to come) to what they said once there.  I remember telling my oldest sister, "I don't think this was gas" and her crying and me laughing.  I had lived.

Over this year, I have thought about this event a lot.  I have thought about what I was told and I have asked family about it and they confirmed it.  I have wondered why I was spared.  When in reality, I should have died that night, but didn't.  I have been on 'reserve' all year.  Meaning, I don't trust people at what they say, but by their actions, by what they do how they behave.  It's amazing what people will say about you when they think you can't hear.  And, by that, I have a few family members I just do not trust anymore.

The events of last Christmas Eve changed me.  How can it not?  My eyes were open to a lot of things around me that night.  Yes, I still smoke.  I have, however, changed my diet.  I exercises more, I don't let things get to me as much.  If I have something to say, I say it.  I don't care if it pisses you off.  Truth hurts sometimes.  I know the ones I can trust.  And I trust them fully.  I know the ones that support me.  I support them back.  I know the ones that were there that night because they were truly concerned and the ones that were there because they were made to go.  I know who is important to me, because I am important to them.  Yes, I have changed. I'm not the same person I was last Christmas....or even last year.  I know what makes me happy and I know what makes me unhappy.  I do things because I want to do them, not because it's expected of me.  I still struggle with smoking.  I still crave bacon, real bacon.  And ever so often, I'll have a slice.  I still struggle with stress, although, it's nothing like before.  I have learned prayer is the best medicine.

I sat out to bring some insight to heart disease and I think I have mange to do just that.  There is no written rule that you will have a heart attack like you see on TV.  Those just don't happen very often.  Heart attacks can sneak up on you before you know it.  If you think something isn't 'right' with your health, you are probably right.  Get it checked before it's too late.  It's your life, make the doctor do all the tests.  You must fight for your right to live.

I'm sure this Christmas will be a lot different than last years.  For one, I will remember it.  And, I will be happy.  And, I will have a good time.  I will make memories.  I will thank God for one more year to spend with family.  And, I will eat healthy.  And, I will move my body to burn those extra calories off.

I will still bring heart healthy articles to the blog.  I will offer suggestions for a healthier life style.  I will tell you about new state of the art procedures for the heart.  I will update you on my own progress.  And I pray you all have the happiest of all holidays.

Potato Pancakes

Excuse my ignorance!  I had no idea.

en.wikipedia.org

For years, probably for as long as I've been alive, my family has always used the left over mashed potatoes to make potato pancakes.  I love them.  They are so versatile.  You can add pretty much anything to them and you could have a meal.

I make them quite often here for dinners.  Hubby and son absolutely love them.  Sometimes I will add a little diced onion, ham and cheese.  Sometimes I just add the egg and flour and sometimes I will throw in everything except the kitchen sink, make a nice salad and that is dinner.

I'm not sure where I first ate potato pancakes.  I'm not sure if it was my Mother or my Grandmother that introduced me to them.  I just know I love them.

I had no idea that Potato Pancakes are a Hanukkah tradition.  I had no idea the history behind this delicious food creation.  Nor did I know they originated from European and Middle Eastern century-old traditions including Austrian, Belarusian, among other countries.  Potato pancakes have been served in Germany and other European countries since at least the 19th century.

http://www.quick-german-recipes.com/german-potato-pancake-recipe.html

They are so simple to make.  Take some left over mashed potatoes or grate some up, add some AP flour and eggs, mix well and fry in a skillet until golden brown.  You can add pretty much anything you want: diced ham, crumbled bacon, pepperoni, diced chicken, etc., onion, garlic, and any herb/seasonings you like, and any veggie you like.  You can top them with apple sauce, sour cream, ranch dressing (my fav), or anything your heart desires.

I don't think I'll ever look at a potato pancake the same way again.

I'm educated on them now.  And I still just love them.

Painted Christmas Ornaments

It's almost Thanksgiving!  Not much longer until Christmas.  Most of the Christmas shopping is done.  I have to get three more gifts and then it will be done.  I'm quite proud of myself, actually.  Normally, I'd be the one the day before Christmas Eve doing the shopping.  This year, I decided to give buying early a try....I think I like it. 

In all honesty, most of the gifts I am giving are homemade.  I love homemade gifts.  There is just something about a homemade gift that warms my heart.  There is love put into the gift.  The person making the gift was thinking about you when the gift was made.  No one else has THAT gift.  There is just something wonderfully magical about a homemade gift.

Not everyone appreciate a homemade gift. There are some that, if it wasn't bought at a store, it's just not good enough.  I feel sorry for those people.  They really have no idea the joy a homemade gift can bring. 

I'm sure most everyone has seen these painted Christmas ornaments.  I've been wanting to do some for about two years and I finally decided to do it.  I plan on boxing a few up and giving out as gifts this year.  They're not fancy.  They're not anything super special.  What makes these super fancy and special is that someone was thinking about YOU when they were made.  There is love in these.  That's what makes them magical.

I followed the directions on the website, except I had to shake mine to get the paint to mix.  Other than that, it was fast, easy, magical.

In these photos, the paint was still drying, so I hadn't put the hangers back on.  But, I love the way the paint all mixed together.  Magical!

Try making a homemade gift this year.  You might see the person who receives the gift eyes light up.  That's the Christmas magic.

Tips for a Less Stressful Thanksgiving

It’s Tuesday.  And, it’s STILL raining. This has been a year of change for me.  Some days it is a struggle, and other days, it's not.  It's called Life.

My quest to ensure this Holiday season is a simple, stress-free holiday has proven, once again, a challenge.  For almost five years, I’ve attempted to get James excited about the Holidays, with no luck.  This year, he has decided to get ‘excited’.  Figures.  He wants to put out all the outdoor decorations….ALL of them.   So we have compromised.  I told him he could do the outdoor decorations, and I would do the indoor decorations.  Easy

.

Thinking about Thanksgiving and the dinner, I’ve thought and rethought about it.  And, I asked myself this question: “Does it HAVE to be perfect?”  Of course, my answer was, “NO!”  Then I asked myself this question: “What can I do to make it nice, but with less stress?”  I have found myself stressing over not making it stressful.   Change isn't easy, I tell you.

So here are some ideas and shortcuts I've come up with for making Thanksgiving nice and less stressful.

Thanksgiving dinner doesn’t have to be on Thanksgiving Day. WHAT?  No, it does NOT have to be on that day!  We will celebrate it the weekend after Thanksgiving.  James is working both Thursday and Friday, so Saturday is our day.  This allows other members of the family to enjoy the day with other friends and family.  It’s not a ‘rush in, eat, and leave because I have other places to go’ kind of day.  It also allows for you to plan and do all the cooking the way you want to do it. 

 

And, speaking of cooking, short-cuts are a blessing!  I am the Queen of short-cut cooking  (In my head, anyway).  You do not have to make cornbread from scratch for the stuffing/dressing.  It’s okay to buy the add butter and water stuff.  What you can do is add fruit and nuts to make it special.  It’s okay to use instant potatoes for the mashed potatoes.  Add in some sour cream and/or horseradish to spice it up some.  The turkey gravy in a jar?  Believe it or not, it’s okay to use it.  Dinner rolls?  Rhodes brand make wonderful yeast rolls.  Let them rise, and bake.  Turkey or ham?  Buying one already cooked/roasted is fine.  Just heat it up in the oven.  Same with desserts; frozen or already made is okay.  Add a little whipped topping and you are good to go!  No one has to know you didn’t slave over a hot stove/oven for days creating this wonderful bounty!  To make it even more special, and because we eat first with our eyes, break out the beautiful platters and bowls.  Use them.  

Look to Nature for your décor.  The Earth provides us with some beautiful colors this time of year.  Take the kids out for a hike one weekend, bring some bags, and let them pick out beautiful colored leaves, pine cones and acorns.  (Make sure it's okay to do this) Find a few branches and make a ‘Thankful Tree’.   Create a centerpiece with the leaves, pinecones and acorn and a few candles.  Get out the glue, scissors, construction sheet paper, scrape book paper and let the kids (and you too) make turkeys using cut outs of your hands.

I look at Thanksgiving as a time to spend with my family and friends, to be thankful for what God has blessed us with this year.  It’s a time to gather together, enjoy each other’s love and kinship, to set aside our differences and come together as one.  If I can find ways to make it less stressful and more enjoyable, then that is a bonus!  There is no need in stressing over the food, the décor or if Auntie loves the stuffing/dressing.  That’s not what is important.

 

Sometimes we have to rethink our traditions and ask ourselves ‘is this still working for us?’  It’s okay to change.  It’s okay to not do what ‘you’ve always done’.  It’s okay to smile, look at the people that surround you, take a deep breath and breathe in the love of family and friends.   Make this year’s Thanksgiving less stressful, and more…thankful.  It’s okay.

Heart Health: A Plan for the Holidays

It’s November and there is an element of electricity of the holiday season in the air.  Even around here, you can feel the excitement in the air.  As we prepare for the holidays, I have to keep in the front of my brain, eat healthy!  Sometimes this is easier said than done.  Just one look at all the cookies, cakes, pies, sweet potato casserole, ham and turkey can cause a person to lose all common sense and before you know it, you’ve eaten a months’ worth of calories!!!

I remember the very first Thanksgiving James and I spent together.  We decided to have Thanksgiving at my sister’s house and even though we said, “We’re not bringing a LOT of food”, we did.  James had a ‘taste’ of everything!  EVERY-THING!!!  He said, “I didn’t want to seem rude.”  And that night, he was hugging the porcelain god!!!

So, when I began to think about what to do for the Heart Healthy blog post this month, I decided to help us all out and post a few ideas on healthy eating during the holidays.  It’s not easy.  It’s hard enough to eat healthy on a good day.  But it is even more important to eat healthy during the holidays.

The holiday season is stressful enough, so placing unrealistic eating goals is just adding to that stress.  Don’t go on a diet during this time of the year.  It’s not feasible and you will fail.  Understanding this will help you out….a LOT!

We all get those party invitations.  So, when you go:

Use a smaller plate when at a buffet type party.  You will eat less.  If you have a lot of parties to attend, eat a healthy snack before going.  You will eat less at the party.  Spend the evening talking to other people at the party.  It’s free calories.  Look at the buffet before loading up.  Make healthy choices.  If you know you have a party to attend, balance what you eat during the day with what you eat at the party.  Drinks contain calories, unless it’s plain water.  Alcoholic drinks, punches, and anything chocolate have calories you may not be aware of.  Moderation is key!  Portion size counts!  Do a ‘taste’ of higher calorie foods. The holidays are very stressful.  Don’t feel like you have to accept every party invitation.  And, again, if you go, and you are not hungry, do not eat!  Don’t let pressure decide your fate.

Things you can do at home:

At home, keep fresh fruit and veggies out for snaking.  Go easy on the dips though.  Some dips, even homemade, can contain high calories.  Make a plan.  This can save you many calories.  Plan smart.  Carrots, celery, apples, oranges, and grapes can be set out for you and family members to snake on.

MOVE!

 If there is a time more important to exercise, it is during the holiday season!  It will help you deal with the added stress that comes with family get-togethers, and all the planning and decorating.  And, it will help get rid of those extra calories.  Do not beat yourself up if you do eat more than you should, or choose unhealthy foods.  Take responsibility for it and go back to your normal eating/exercise routine as soon as you can.  The holidays are a joyful time of the year.  You do not have to be a prune!  You do not have to be a vacuum cleaner and suck all the fun out of the party!  But, be smart.  Plan smart.

Finally, take time for you!  Take some alone time.  Get a manicure or pedicure.  Give to yourself; go to a spa, stay away from stressful situations.  For me, shopping during this time of the year causes me stress, so I stay away as much as I can, or I go late at night.  Read a book, pray, meditate, get together with friends, take a walk through the neighborhood and enjoy the Christmas lights.  Do for others; do sometime nice for a family or person in need. Pay for the person behind you.  Pay it forward.  And above all else, enjoy the reason for the season.