New Passions

Hey everyone!  As a person who just dabbles in a lot of things, but nothing inclusive (quilting, painting, etc.), I have a lot of projects going on at all times.  Matter of fact, I have about 20 projects right now that need attention.  I am hoping to get all those finished up and put away for a rainy day to brighten someones life.

I have found a new passion.  I learned to crochet when I was a teenager, but never got beyond the basic stitches.  The last few months I have been relearning how to do the basic stitches and learning a few new ones.  I did a set of baby items for my daughter (who is expecting again), and a few hats for those cold Winter days.

I have always loved those lacy looking doilies my Mother and Granny made.  I have a few of them they made and cherish them dearly.  So, I set out to learn how to do them.  Not quiet as easy as crocheting a baby blanket, but they are small enough to do in a few hours. 

This last week I attempted a few; some I made up, some I followed a pattern.  None are blocked yet, but hoping to get that done this weekend. 

What have you learned to do lately?

Relationships: Part 2

So this year I will be focusing on relationships.  I had thought about doing a year long (much like the heart health from last year) on diabetes.  I think though, this is a much more interesting topic.  We started our adventure last weekend, and you can come along for the ride.

In my last post, I talked about how hubby and I have got into this rut within our relationship.  After a LOT of discussion, a few heated arguments, and tears, we finally decided we had to do something.  So we have started 'date night'.  This began last weekend.  We decided to take off for the weekend to kick start our new adventure. 

After doing some research, we decided to tour our local wineries.  We live close to the Ozarks of Arkansas, so it wasn't too far from home.  Baby steps, people, baby steps.

We hit about 6 wineries before noon.  :)  Then we headed to Mt. Magazine. It was so nice and peaceful there and we even saw a little armadillo having some lunch.  We spent about an hour or so there before heading back to Fort Smith, Ark for the night.

Once at the hotel, we had a battle of sinking ships!!  Battleship, y'all!!  Minds out of the gutters. This was a very close game and hubby kicked my ships right into the ocean!  Then, we decided to get some dinner, but being a Saturday night, every place had a line a mile long and a wait of at least 45 minutes.  So we drove around and found a Village Inn...great food and the service was equally great!  They have a peanut butter chocolate pie that is to DIE FOR!  We split it and we both left with a smile on our faces. 

The evening was still early so we decided to see a move, but by the time we got to the theater, everything had already started and I didn't want to wait until 11pm to see a movie.  So, we went back to the hotel.  We watched a little TV, and did a LOT of talking.  We played Rummy and again, hubby stunk me out!  Only won one hand.  But it was fun.

The next morning, we head North to Springdale, Ark.  We went to the Botanical Garden of the Ozarks which was pretty amazing considering it's Winter.  It will be worth the drive back this Spring when everything is bloomed out and green.  From there, we went to Bentonville, Ark. to see Crystal Bridges.  It is massive!!  We didn't get to see it all.  Ran out of time, but we're planing to go back when we have all day to just explore.

Overall, we connected in ways I didn't think we could.  The trip was much needed, not only for us as individuals, but as a couple.  We are both a lot more attuned to each other.  We're both a little more considerate towards each other.  The tension in the air has thinned; it's still there, but it's not as thick.

One thing we did talk about is this "date night" thing.  We both agree it's a great idea, but, not every week.  We both agree it would get a little old after a while, and considering we live in a rather small town, we'd run out of places to go and things to do if we did this every week.  So, we're going to do it about twice a month and see how that goes.  These are actual planned dates.  We are also gonna do a little spur of the moments "lets get some coffee or pie" dates, as well.

I think every couple should have at least one date night a month, without kids.  Just the two of you.  After all, you dated before you were married, it should keep happening.  That's what happened to us.  We dated, we got married and the dating stopped.  Couples need that time to be together with no conversations about home, work or the kids.  I learned things about hubby this last weekend that I never knew! 

Some family members have said that we're 'selfish' for doing this.  Our son is 18 and he is okay with it and he understands.  It's not like we're going on a trip every weekend without him.  Matter of fact, we're planning a big trip at the end of May, beginning of  June to go see the Civil War Battlefields in Prairie Grove, Ark.  DS is looking forward to that, as are we.  What they don't know is we talked to our son about all this before we decided to do it.  He says, "Hey, I get it, mom...privacy, alone time, it's all good.  Go, have fun."  He stayed home, and played his battle games with his friends...and they had fun, too. It was a win-win for all.

Saving a Relationship: Date Night: Does It Really Work?

If you do a search for "How to Find Time for Your Mate" you will get over a million hits.  Everyone has their own thoughts and opinions of how to do this, how to turn the spark into a blazing fire.  Does it really work?

PLEASE NOTE: I AM NOT AN EXPERT ON RELATIONSHIPS. 

Hubby and I have been married for a little over four years.  In that sense, we're still classified as 'newlyweds'.  But, here lately, it feels like we've been together forever!  With all the stresses of our life that has happened over the last year or so, we've fallen into a rut of sorts.  We get up in the morning, make coffee, he turns on the TV, I get on the computer.  At noon, we watch the Noon News, he gets ready for work, I get dressed, he leaves for work, I get busy cleaning the house, cooking dinner, doing the laundry.  At 10:30, he comes home, eats dinner, watches TV and falls asleep on  the sofa, I surf the Internet until I go to bed.  A rut?  I'd say we were in serious trouble.

The experts say this sometimes happens.  My question is 'Why?'   Why do married couples allow ourselves to get into this way of life? This last weekend was an 'eye opener' of sorts for us.  We realized we were just not happy.  We asked each other, "What happened?"  We spent 3-4 hours talking about when it began, why it began and what we can do to get out of this rut.  We had to do some serious thinking back into the past.  Neither of us have been unfaithful.  So that is not an issue. We also turned to the Internet to see what the 'experts' had to say. The first thing they mentioned is to have a date night.  Who can really afford to go out to dinner and a movie every week?  And, wouldn't that get boring after a while?  I'm not down playing the date night.  I actually think it is a great idea.  We dated before we got married, got dressed up, put on our best...everything and had a great time.  So, date night could work.

The other thing the 'experts' mentioned is having breakfast, or lunch a few times a week away from the house.   I might agree with this, too.  I have a wonderful friend who says, "You can not connect with your spouse at home.  There are too many distractions."  I totally agree with this.  But again, who can afford it?  What is the price of saving a marriage these days? 

One thing we discovered is we have this fear.  Fear?  Yes, fear.  See, we live next door to my sister who is a diabetic and has low blood sugars during the early morning hours.  There have been a few times we've went out only to come home to ambulance and family members at her house because she had a low blood sugar.  We've been asked, "Where were you? Why were you not here?"   We know we're not responsible for her or her health.  She is older than I am, and she knows what she should do, but refuses to do it.  Hubby says, "We have to just say _________ this and do it! We just have to decide to do what we're doing and not worry about the 'what-ifs'"  I'm not sure I can do that.  After all, she IS my sister.  But the question is: Am I responsible for her?  The answer: No.  The next question is: Is being here all the time, stopping our life, more important that my marriage?  The answer is : HELL NO!  So, I have a huge obstacle to climb when it comes to the 'fear'. 

We made a few plans, gathered a few ideas and as long as nothing big happens, these thing WILL happen.  Sometimes, I think, we just have to say, "NO" and move on.  Will 'date night' work?  I sure hope so.  There comes a time in any marriage that we just have to stop what we're doing and put everything else to the side and focus on our relationships.  We did this when we were dating.  Nothing else mattered.  It was just you and him, him and you.  The world stopped moving when you two were together.  Why should it spin faster after a few years or a lot of years being married?  I will post after a few times of doing this and let you all know how it has worked out.

What do you do to keep the spark alive in your marriage?