Since last Christmas I had to go off and have a heart attack and missed Christmas with my family, this year I decided to have a 'make up' Christmas. I went to bed the night before Christmas Eve and tossed and turned most of the night. I finally gave up and made my way to the kitchen for coffee. I sat in the living room reading all the Christmas greetings on Facebook. I woke James up at 8 am so we could get ready to head up to my dad's for Christmas.
About 8:05 am, my phone rang. In our family we have a game of sorts we do on Christmas Eve. We try to see who can say "Christmas Eve Gift" first and to the most. If you beat the other person, you get a gift, although, we do not do that part. The fun is trying to beat all the other family members to the punch. I answered the phone, and said, "Christmas Eve Gift!!" My sister said to me, "Get up to dad's now...it's bad." I got my son up and told him to get my other sister and to get her up to dad's.
James and I got in the car and raced to dad's...only 2 blocks up the road. As we came over the hill, we saw EMT's, fire trucks, First responders and a lot of trucks and cars. We pulled into the drive way and I ran inside. The EMT's were doing CPR on dad...finally my sister 'called it'. Our dad had went home to heaven.
It was devastating to all of us. Not exactly what we expected on Christmas Eve. After all was said and done, we all decided to go ahead and have Christmas...'for the little ones'. We all tried to be happy and joyful, but it just didn't happen. It's hard to be happy or to even act happy when someone you love is gone forever.
My dad was a hard working man. He was a cowboy, served his country in the U.S. Army for 20 plus years, and was an R.N. for over 30 years. He was a husband, a father, a son, a brother, a uncle, a grandfather, great grandfather and a great-great grandfather. He loved to travel, and go to auctions. But most importantly, He Served. He served his family, his country, and others...and he served proudly. He was happiest at the hospital taking care of the patients.
My dad suffered from dementia. It was hard to watch him deteriorate from a healthy, hard working man, to someone who couldn't do for himself. I've spent my life taking care of dementia patients, but it's different when it's your own family. Tomorrow, 12/30/13 we will lay our Father to rest, with full military honors.
It's been a horrible, and hard week. My brother and sister's and I have yelled, screamed, and said things to each other out of anger and grief this week, but we have managed to stop, apologize, hug, kiss, and love each other through it all. I think Dad would be happy with how we are handling this.
I miss my dad. My heart aches for him, for his smile, and his love. As long as I remember dad, he is never gone...he's just home.
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